When Movies Blow (Chunks)

I understand that barf is a gross topic to discuss on a blog that oftentimes has food-related entries. If it grosses you out please don’t continue reading. I’d sincerely hate it if I ruined someones day or dinner by something I’ve written. Anyway, on to the story.

So earlier this week I set the TiVo up to record the movie I Heart Huckabees. Some of you may be aware of my tendency to stray from movies with vomit in them due to a deep-seeded traumatic phobia of gratuitous barf scenes (and even necessary ones) including but not limited to: reality show barfing- the worst because you know it’s real, drunken barfing- second worst because producers always feel the need to pair it with God-awful sound effects for added viewer enjoyment (?!?), kid-barfing- always super gross because it’s over-the-top and usually geared towards children who seem to think it’s funny, and even the ever-elusive but still present cartoon/puppet barfing- still gross but sometimes tolerable. (Except in such cases as Team America: World Police where I left the movie theater crying. To make it clear- not my choice of movie, either.)

In the past, in an effort to avoid movies with a lot of gross barf scenes I’ve tended to shy away from anything centering around a pregnancy storyline (morning sickness=lots of barf), drunken college-aged flicks ala American Pie series (drunkenness=lots of barf) and movies where a big macho man ie: Vin Diesel or the Rock is somehow hooked into taking care of numerous misbehaving children for the day (kids eating anything/everything they want when the babysitter gives up= lots of barf, usually onto the leather interior of a nice auto). Recently I found out about a tool called Screen It, which is geared towards helping parents determine if a movie is appropriate for their kids by giving in depth listings of anything and everything that could be questionable. My most favorite (and most helpful) section is gore where they list anything objectionably disgusting, such as vomit. Note that I am perfectly fine with dismemberment, torture, blood, guts, etc as long as it is not being coughed up in some way, so I really only care about one specific piece of information from the gore section.

But I digress. After using this tool to check out I Heart Huckabee I’m actually confused. Many times if the barf listing doesn’t appear to be too graphic I will watch the movie. The listing gives enough information that you can usually tell when it’s coming and I usually either mute/fast forward through that part of the movie so that I can enjoy the rest. (I smash my fingers into my ears and squeeze my eyes shut if we go to a movie theater and experience a barf scene. Don’t worry, I’m discreet!) The listing for this movie reads:

Brad partially vomits into his own hand.

How does one partially vomit? Does he vomit partially into his hand as well as elsewhere? Is it “partial” meaning he starts to but doesn’t finish? Gagging, for instance? I hate to say it buy I’m intrigued enough by the sentence “Brad partially vomits into his own hand” to watch the movie just to understand what partial vomiting is.

For those people who want to check out the screen it service you can go here to find out about it. I just use the free section. I don’t like barf but I’m not going to pay money to avoid it. Meshuga? Me? Nah, I’m just quirky.


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