Throw in the Block, Ron!

I have been a long term sufferer of insomnia and I believe I’ve seen every infomercial made. Not only that, I’ve seen them more than once. I’ve been to Ron Popeil’s website and read everything on it. (There was an interesting FAQ about the spray on hair at one point in time. I don’t know if it is still there. It was in regards to the safety of using the product on ones dog.)

One night I was watching and M heard me yell “Throw in the block, Ron!” I was watching the Ronco knives commercial and the tune of “But wait, THERE’S MORE!” kept singing its merry jingle in my head. As I sat perched by the phone there they were. In all their glory the brilliant set was laid out in fan-shape form. The knives, the kitchen scissors, the bonus solid flavor injector, but one thing was missing. How was I supposed to contain it all? Where would I keep these fabulous knives? I wanted so badly to cast out a line on my pocket fisherman and reel the knives back into my home at the unheard of price of only $39.99. Had he thrown in the block those knives would be mine!

And the magic bullet…where everything under the sun can be prepared in only 10 seconds or less. With the magic bullet, who has time for 30 minute meals?!? If I had the magic bullet there would be no need for those magnificent Ronco knives. But it would take me only 5 seconds to make salsa for four. And in only 6 seconds I could make chicken salad. If I wanted nachos all I would need to do is wait 10 seconds and then use the super-convenient container (lid included!) in the microwave to liquefy the cheese. If I’ve got 10 seconds… I’ve got a party!

After I am done eating the multitude of snacks that the magic bullet would allow me to effortlessly prepare I would need the holy Mari, mother of God of all workouts. I too could have a set of buns like Daisy Fuentes– if only I had that Winsor Pilates DVD!

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